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Dec 3, 2005
old blogs

What a World Part II

I am still fascinated by death. or what happens after, and what surrounds it. The grieving process, denial, acceptance; all part of human nature. We all go through it, but somehow, we keep moving on until one day we are a shriveled prune and it's our time to go. And what of spirituality? The Passion of the Christ has "supposedly" dug up spirituality at it's purest form. Has it taken a movie for us humans to realize that we should be dedicating our lives to finding a way. Have we all actually made a spiritual connection with a "higher power", or is it just an illusion. Have those who are "spiritual" actually developed a spiritual connection? I always thought of a true spiritualist as someone who dedicates every minute of their waking life to their spirituality and everything that surrounds it. Maybe I'm wrong... Maybe I'm ignorant about the way humanity really works... Maybe someday, something will suprise me... Until next time, Im 5 by 5.



The Rabbit Hole...

As I lay here,

tumbling down

the road which I walk on,

gravel and ice

maybe it will reveal itself,

in the midst of the night,

how could this be,

and were does it belong


maybe i will see,

soon i will see,

the ghost of the past creeps upon me,

sprinkling me with the dust and ashes of,

what may and could have been,

soon i will see



mecury rising into the soul,

surely I will come,

maybe you come too,

inferno of love,

burning through the night,

surely I will come,

maybe you come too,

heart of desire resurrect,

surely I will come,

maybe you come too


she kissed as she rose.
his forehead. demise.
weak. heaven takes his body.
his last breath eternal.

Posted at 09:30 am by xenonw2
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Jul 24, 2005

I worried about Lindsay

Posted at 09:15 pm by xenonw2
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Jul 17, 2005

Old but still good...

I keep reflecting on my past experiences and use my knowledge now to create some kind of false hope for the future. Here is my philosophy...Relationships can last no matter how attached you are. It depends on the person... You can't just say if you are too attached then be unattached. That is a stupid philosophy brought on by ignorant fools who try to justify their loses as an element of their relationship angst or misjudgement. People are gullibe and will believe almost anything when they are looking for answers...You just have to sift through the bullshit until you find some kind of basic truth. Except since no truth is absolute you will have to try and find the best possible solution. Forgive me if this entry seems too schizophrenic. I try. Until next time, I'm 5 by 5.

Posted at 07:37 pm by xenonw2
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rules of attraction

  The facts even when beaded on a chain, still did not have real order. Events did not flow. The facts were separate  and haphazard and random even as they happened, episodic, broken, no smooth transitions, no sense of events unfolding from prior events...

                                                                                          Tim O'Brien
                                                                                 Going after Cacciato

Posted at 07:35 pm by xenonw2
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Hey you over there...Come back!

This blog is kind of older but I thought it was good so here goes...

I don't want to sound like one of those people who are always complaining about their life... Who never notice the good things in life only the bad. There are good things in my life though... I feel away from everyone else. It's like I'm in my own little world and I am trapped behind this wall and I can't see the other side worth anything. I feel like I am on a different level than others. Some people I have noticed fall in love(or so they think).Then something happens to were it turns out they didn't love the person(which isn't love by any means). After this love escapade, though, they still dwell on this person and the memories of them and how they once were , except little do they know that the original that they fell in love with was just a farce, and the dark brooding force underneath was just waiting to explode... This person has some direct influence on their life indirectly, though, and is swells and swells and swells. It grows in size everyday, but its host has no idea (or at least that's what they tell themselves). I wish people would stop! Get over it. It sucked! Now learn from it and move on! There is no need for a constant connection with someone who hurt you, because all it will do is bring back painful memories and if it doesn't then you are just lying to yourself and others. Be mature people! Grow out of old flames not in! Until next time...I'm 5 by 5.

Posted at 07:28 pm by xenonw2
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I wrote this before a lot of shit happened so it is not quite accurate, but it is still a good poem.

have you found yourself

time is on my side

i'll wait for you

arms outstretched


the next kiss

the next touch

i'll wait for you

time is on my side...

Posted at 07:26 pm by xenonw2
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unrequited love

i thought i loved

but then i awoke

this ignorant slumber...

only fools fall in love

the best is now gone

the worst has set in

where are you

caring and kindness

are like toys

to you

play then

throw away

it seems to be your



Posted at 07:22 pm by xenonw2
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lead me oh leading one!

 i hate being led on...the end

Posted at 07:03 pm by xenonw2
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